ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize