got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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