im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize