just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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