I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
