and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
