oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
