The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
