Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
