The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
