i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
