apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
