tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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