He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
