Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
