Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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