Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is

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(248): View more from Michigan

To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.

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(626): View more from California

While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

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(949): View more from California

Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

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(808): View more from Hawaii

There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE

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