I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
