I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
