I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
