so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sext me about skeletons
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