should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
