just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize