smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
