If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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