I didn't shave. On purpose
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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