I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
