It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
