well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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