pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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