Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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