i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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