I'm drive I can fine osifer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
