things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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