im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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