i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
