What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
