This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize