He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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