one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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