apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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