weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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