and she was petting her beer can
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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