dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
