I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
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don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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