He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
