Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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