I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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