I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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