I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
