we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
