oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
