I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize