my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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